Kayla Grey on the main dish

I have a big Jamaican family. I'm first-gen Canadian, so that big meal together is what we look forward to. I'll be very honest, many of us would show up with a plate, but most of us would show up with plastic containers and our own tinfoil for the food we got to take home.  

We would have all the traditional dishes: turkey, ham, pasta salad, potato salad, coleslaw, maybe a marshmallow situation. And we’d also have our Jamaican flair in there: oxtail, curry goat, roti, jerk chicken, rice and peas, regular rice, duck bread (aka hard dough bread) – a dense type of Jamaican bread you put butter on and use it to scoop up everything else. My grandfather usually prays before we start eating and he goes on a very long time. So, at one point we're kind of opening our eyes a little bit, looking at the table, strategizing where we want to go first. It's all part of the tradition. 

The prep for all this would start the night before. My grandfather would drive my grandmother up to her sister’s – my great aunt ‘s house – and she’d show up with her bags of marinating chicken and what have you. The sisters would have a sleepover and chat and prep on Christmas eve, then get going as soon as they woke up the next morning. They did not play around. And we’re talking about women in their 70s. This was their thing. They loved to feed us and make us happy. I feel like they got more enjoyment out of it than we did. 

As a kid, I was like, why do they start so early? Is this what being old is about, just getting places super early? No. Being old is being prepared and putting in the work. Not just the day of, but the night before! 

Now that I have my own home, I can’t wait to finally host for the holidays. I want the turkey, the oxtail, curry goat, rice and peas, regular rice, salad. I want Brussels sprouts, carrots, roasted red peppers, corn salad, vegan dishes because there’s so much you can do with vegetables. There's no theme except it’s all foods everyone will love. I like to make sure that the table is for everyone. I don't want to hear, “Thank you.” I just want to hear “Mmmmm.” That's the goal for me. 

The food and the gathering is important, but it’s also about the pause. I really need that in my life. Over the years, I've realized that taking care of my people also means cooking for them. 

I moved out when I was 15, and my friends have really been my chosen family. And so for those who might not be as fortunate as I am, my door is always open. My space is your home, and my food will be your food. I want my new house to be a place where we can all gather and love on each other and laugh and even cry if we need to. And food is the perfect opener for all that. It connects us in unimaginable ways.